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This post is a companion to Sylas' last one, about grief, which we know touched several of you deeply. Sylas wrote that grieving in community "is our ancestral human heritage—something many of us have forgotten until recently. In that space, I was no longer alone in the pain of my heart, in the suffering from past abuse and rejection, or in the collective grief over the dysfunctions of our societal systems."
In early August, I had a similar "no longer alone" experience. At an in-person immersion, I facilitated a practice from the Work that Reconnects called the Truth Mandala. This is a simple and powerful ritual, in which participants gather in a circle and speak the truth, aided by symbolic objects from nature to help us find our truth and focus our words.
We speak the truth of our grief, our anger, our fear, and our emptiness. The emotions can be big, and it can get intense. Sometimes, the emotions don't look big on the outside, but the experience is immense.
In speaking these truths, we also open to the love that our grief reveals, the passion for justice that gives rise to our anger, the courage it takes to speak our fear, and the space we can find within the emptiness.
Over the last couple years, I've come to learn that these practices that allow our painful emotions to move and be witnessed can liberate a lot of energy. They liberate the energy that is used to hold these feelings down, and also the immense creative, healing energy that comes through with the truth. They also open our ears to the important information our emotions are giving us - about loss, about danger, about what isn't in harmony with thriving life, our own and our communities'.
And, we find that our pain is shared. Every time, I feel a sense of relief, and a sense of re-connection. Every time! It's all too easy to eventually feel disconnected again, but that is why there are rituals for grief and emotional pain. Rituals are meant to be repeated. When I repeat this one, I see again the pain we have in common, and I see others in their wholeness and feel seen in mine.
In complement to all of the above, I'd like to share another perspective on grief that has influenced me deeply: the insights of Classical Chinese Medicine.
In the cosmology of Classical Chinese Medicine, grief is the emotion associated with the season of Autumn, which is the time of letting go. The leaves fall away. The energy of the world around us is descending. The Lungs and the Large Intestine organs in the body resonate with this same season: energetically moving downward, absorbing the "yes," and releasing the "no." These organ networks also allow us to experience a particular kind of radiance and beauty, like the poignance of the intense colors of trees' leaves, just before they fall away. We associate these networks with the element of Metal.
Perhaps you've noticed the effect that grief or sadness can have on the lungs or large intestine. Grief can deplete the qi of these Metal organs. Disharmony in these organs might also lead to difficulty letting go, or chronic sadness. Unexpressed grief can take an especially heavy toll on the Metal organs, because qi stagnation occurs when emotions are not allowed to move. When we do finally let that energy move, more qi is available for physical and emotional healing and healthy function.
I want to acknowledge that sometimes, not allowing our grief to move is crucial. We might not have the space in our lives to grieve, and we might be desperately lacking community support for our grief. Sylas wrote beautifully about that in the last newsletter, and shared insightful quotes from Malidoma Somé, Martin Prechtel, and Michael Meade. (You can click here to read his newsletter, if you missed it.)
All this to say, it's no one's fault if they've been carrying a heavy burden of grief. Far from it.
If you are feeling that yearning to express the truth of your grief - about anything, whether personal or collective, whether loss of a loved one or other life change, whether something you've lost or something you've never had, you're warmly invited to our monthly Work that Reconnects community of practice, and check our Events page for current offerings.
Nothing on this site should be considered medical or legal advice. We don't encourage or condone any illegal activities. Consult medical and legal professionals if you have medical or legal questions.